Having a chronic disease is hard enough physically, but mentally can be just as taxing. Sometimes it seems the longer you battle and the worse it gets, the more alone you feel on the journey. It's hard to explain to others because there wasn't one incident that changed your life forever -- a shark biting off your leg, for instance -- rather, it's a long, drawn-out process surrounding a seemingly “invisible” illness that many people simply can’t understand. Probably not even you sometimes. 

Even more difficult is when you begin to find yourself being defined by your disease. Whether it's through negative comments (maybe you were called a hypochondriac or accused of doing it all for attention) or well-meaning comments (for years, all you've heard is “poor thing”). Maybe you started an endometriosis social media presence where you focus on everything endometriosis, or a blog dedicated to your infertility journey.

All of this attention can take a toll on our psyche. In many ways, we can start feeling like we are a walking embodiment of our disease. It begins to define us, and in some ways will start to make us question our own inner strength and resilience. And if you look back to see activities you once loved have been replaced only with pain, discomfort, and sadness, it becomes increasingly easy to lose track of who you really are. Without wanting to, your disease has taken over your life.

Which is why it's a wonderful thing to check back in with yourself. Chronic pain is debilitating, it's even been proven to change the way we think by remapping our brain! Talk about a strong power. But through resilience and an open mind to grow and change, you can reconnect with that person inside who likes to have fun, who has hope, who is strong, and who wants to be friends again. 

Developing Resilience in the Face of Endometriosis

Resilience is the ability to bounce back in the face of adversity. It’s the hero in the movie who’s accused and imprisoned, only to never give up … and eventually fight their way to freedom. And it’s people with chronic disease who don’t take their diagnosis as a death sentence, but rather a detour from their current route onto one with a different scenery.

It’s coping with crisis and being stronger for it.

The interesting thing about resilience it that you aren’t born with it. Rather, it develops as we grow and learn to create intelligent pathways to manage our lives. It’s is found in our behaviors and our thoughts and is something we learn over to time to help us cope with and get through the hurdles that we experience in life. The hurdles will come, but with resilience we can study, laugh, and learn through them. Yes they will hurt us, but no, we won’t let them kill us.

Developing your own sense of resilience will help you better reconnect to new yourself. I say “new” because, most likely, you’re a different person now than before your symptoms started, and unless you have a strong practice of resilience to bolster you up, you may find yourself falling away from the person you once were, without a goal of becoming someone better.

Don’t feel resilient at the moment? I argue if you are on this site you are! You haven’t given up, you are seeking solutions, and still clawing your way to health.

A New Endometriosis Normal, New Endometriosis Hobbies

Resilience will bolster your resolve to create a new normal for yourself to make things feel, well, normal again. To do so you’ll have to take the voids in your life that were filled with “used to’s”, and replace them with “can-do’s.”

Remember, the can-do's of today will change, hopefully you'll be able to do much more as you heal, but it's about honoring where you're at right now.

If intense workout’s were your jam, you might be craving movement. Learning to find deep joy in hiking, yoga, or the alignment world would be an awesome example of what a new normal could look like. Or if you have a hard time leaving the house, think about your "learn before I die" list and pick off a few favs, like learning how to sing, play guitar, paint with watercolors, or have a beautiful flower bed. Jot down a list of all the hobbies you could have with your new lifestyle and take a lesson, buy some supplies, and make time in your schedule.

Note of Apology: Streaming movies is not a hobby. Nor is Pinterest-wandering. Nor is stewing in endometriosis sadness on social media. This should be about you connecting back to you.

And while creating a new normal may feel like you’re giving in to your disease, it’s not. In some ways, we need to ditch our previous “normal” that dug us into this trench in the first place. For example, even though I say my endo is healed, if I went back to college and ate terribly, drank every weekend (and, err, some weekdays, oops), and sat in a chair most of my hours, I promise you my endo would have me floored all over again. That means the only direction is forward, so start paving the way for the life in which you can flourish with the condition you face right now.

Surprisingly, as you create a new normal, you may truly find it better than whatever you had before. I do! You just have to trust the direction your life river is flowing.

To Heal from Endometriosis, Remember How to Play

Many of us have forgotten how to play. With so much structure, distraction, and even society dictating how grown-ups are "supposed" to behave, we can easily fall out of the childlike mentality of having some simple fun. Throw in some chronic pain, and it's even harder to find random bouts of fun popping into your life.

This is why right now is a great time to remind yourself how to play again! It doesn't take a new hobby or a time commitment, just a little light-heartedness will start you on your way. The easiest beginning is to just be silly without worrying anyone is judging you. Dress up in funny aprons and cook dinner, walk like a crab and try to knock your boyfriend over, grab a floaty toy and jump in the ocean to see how many times you get tossed by a wave, or try to switch tandem surfboards with your goofiest pals.

Anything unstructured works just as well. You can designate a place to meet, even if it's just at your living room, but don't plan what's going to happen. Let fun and laughter guide you to your favorite type of play :) Please do this alcohol free to remind your body that you can be YOU and PLAYFUL and FUN without booze. She’ll remember if you let her.

Or maybe you used to like certain games, like chess, ping pong, or soccer. Why not play again? Perhaps you used to play guitar or ukulele. What not pick them up for old times sake?

The goal here is just to relearn how to escape from the ol’ mental prison endometriosis can give us (and society too, with the addictive, glittery screens that keep us from our best ourselves).

Journal for an Endometriosis Healing Mind-Body Connection

Journaling is trending right now, and I’m all for it! I’ve been journaling myself since I was a teenager, and still know no better way to tap into my subconscious than writing, with a pen and paper, in a journal. If journaling doesn’t come easy to you that’s … normal. Unless you actively journal it can be as challenging as meditation for those who don’t meditate regularly. Here are some tips:

• Start writing with zero goals in mind, Just write. Consider starting with your day or weeks, what you did, and how you’ve been feeling.

• If one specific issue pops up, write about it, good or bad. Write how it made you feel.

• If you feel inspired, talk about it! Let the brain flow, and the positivity speak for itself.

• If you feel bad about an incident, look at it from all the angles possible and write about it. Sometimes this can help us see a way out or another side.

• You don’t have to solve anything, sometimes just writing our deepest emotions on paper can be healing.

• Be open to your brain solving something anyway! I’m always surprised when I work out an issue on paper that I couldn’t in my head. Our thoughts don’t always know right from wrong, but they are powerful. But by giving light to the darkness in the head, you may find situations easier to tackle than you thought.

• If you have a hard time with positivity, give gratitude bullet points! Write 5 things you’re grateful for, and do it every day. Even if you’re so low it’s hard to come up with a point, if you do it daily, you’ll actually start to train your brain to seek out things to be grateful for (for tomorrow’s journal prompt), which can rewire the brain to see more positive. Win-win.

• Be kind to yourself, and don’t judge what you write! Sometimes you’ll feel great about journaling, sometimes it won’t flow. That’s okay. this is just about reconnecting to yourself, and that can sometimes be a humbling process.